Past Or Present
“So, Todd is going to be there?”
I rolled my eyes. I had casually mentioned that my ex, Todd would be at the party and he had been talking about it non-stop.
“Yes, Jake. Todd is going to be there. Is that a problem?”
“No. No problem. Just curious.”
I sniffed at that notion. “Just curious.” I couldn’t figure out why, but Jake had become obsessed with Todd. I had told him there was nothing to worry about, nothing to fear from an ex. But, he seemed to be oddly keyed up for this party. I chalked it up to his fragile male ego, but there seemed to be something else lurking under the surface. I tried to ignore him and just have fun. But, Jake had other plans.
He was staring again. I kept catching him from across the room. It was obvious that his eyes were glued to Todd and me, despite his attempts to look casual. He was transfixed, registering our every move. I tried to ignore it, tried to hold a normal conversation with my ex-boyfriend. A guy that he had assured me he was not jealous of. I was beginning to think that Jake had lied to me. My friendships were important to me, and he claimed he understood. The way his eyes moved over the two of us, it was clear to everyone in the room that he was anything but understanding.
My anger simmered all evening, but I held my tongue. I decided instead to torture Jake. If he was jealous, if he was upset, then I would give him something to be upset about. When Todd ran his hand down my back for no reason, I didn’t shy away. I stood a step too close, reached out to touch his arm when I laughed. I flirted, gauging Jake’s reactions to my brazenness. But, his expression didn’t seem to change. He just watched us, no visible signs of anger in his eyes. By the end of the night, I was livid, and when I kissed Todd goodbye I opted for his lips rather than his cheek. Jake was standing right next to us when I pressed my lips to Todd’s. I turned to him, accepting my coat from his waiting arms. Nothing. Not even a hint of panic.
We rode home in silence, as I was unable to find the words to pick a fight with him. I went about my routine when we got home, as he was clearly not willing to start the conversation either. As I stood by the sink, brushing my teeth, he appeared in the doorway. Still watching me.
“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”
I spit out the toothpaste in my mouth and stared at his face in the mirror. Again, there was no readable expression.
“I’m not. I’m just confused. Are you going to tell me why you were staring at me all night? Why you watched Todd and me like a hawk? You said you were okay with us being friends.”
I grabbed my lotion and started rubbing the cool cream over my dry legs. His eyes watched me, and he started to move closer until he stood behind me. He pushed my hair away from my neck and kissed the exposed flesh. I stopped moving my hands across my legs, not knowing what else to do. His hands moved down my sides, lifting the hem of my nightgown, exposing my panties. His finger traced circles over my stomach as his mouth continued to evade my questions with kisses.
“Answer me, Jake.” He reluctantly stopped nuzzling my neck, and looked at me in the mirror.
“I liked watching you. Besides, what did you expect me to do, you were flirting with him. Face it, Trish. You wanted me to watch.”
I opened my mouth to object to his observations, but he turned my head and covered my protest with a kiss. He spun me around to face him, reaching under my flimsy cotton gown to rub my breasts. He caught my hard nipples between his fingers, pinching slightly. He stopped, looking back into my eyes.
“Come on, Trish. You knew I was watching, and you did all that smiling and touching on purpose. What were you doing, trying to teach me a lesson?” His smug smile made me angry. I tried to pull away, but he held me close to him.
“You don’t trust me, do you? Yeah, I wanted to teach you a lesson. I wanted to make you even more jealous.”
“You think I was watching you because I’m jealous?”
I nodded but he just smiled. My attempts to upset him had clearly backfired. In fact, they seemed to be having the opposite effect. I could feel his erection pressing into my thigh. Again, I tried to get away from him, but he just pulled me closer.
“You and Todd are cute together. I bet you made a nice couple.” I was confused by his remarks; even more confused when he crushed my mouth with his. He pulled back; the sparkle in his eyes was unmistakable. He turned me around, our eyes meeting again in the mirror. My nightie was bunched up at my hips, and he was grinding his cock into my ass. Even with clothing between us, I could feel him twitch. His eyes stayed glued on mine.
“I’ve always wondered about the two of you. What you were like together.” His hand rubbed my nipples back into stiff points. Teasing me, I could feel my pussy getting wet. Despite my lingering confusion, I gave into his touch.
“Why would you say something like that?” I could barely get my words out.
“Watching the two of you doesn’t make me jealous, Trish. I like it. That is why I was watching in the first place. I was fantasizing about the two of you. Fucking.”
On the last word, his hand slipped into my panties, finding me wet and open. His finger eased inside me without effort, without resistance. My mind was still swimming with this new information, but he wasn’t done yet.
“I could picture you, wrapping your legs around his back, right there on the couch. I can tell by the way he looks at you that he still wants you. Not that I blame him. Come on, admit it. You still want him. Just a little bit.”
Another finger slid inside me and my panties were long gone. I was aware of his eyes still watching me, still holding mine in the mirror, but I had lost focus. Everything was blurred and hazy. His fingers were replaced by the head of his cock nudging against my cunt. Again, his words ran over me and left me reeling.
“I bet he was the first guy to really make you come, am I right? That is why you are so attached to him. He’s the one, isn’t he?”
He may not have wanted or even needed a reply, but I gave him one. I nodded, acknowledging the truth that Jake had spoken. Todd wasn’t my first love, but he had given me my first orgasm. Passion had never been our problem.
As Jake fucked me slow, my mind travelled back to Todd and me; flashes from random fucks from many years ago. Maybe I did still want him. Forgetting him completely never seemed possible. I would have been lying if I had said I hadn’t thought about him over the years.
“You’re thinking about him right now aren’t you?”
I wondered if he could really tell, or if he just knew me better than I thought. I managed a nod as he slid deeper inside me.
“Good, I’m glad. I’m glad you’re thinking about him. Because, I can’t stop thinking about the two of you. Every time you say his name, or wear that old t-shirt of his. God, Trish. It’s driving me crazy. I want you to fuck him again. I want to watch you fuck him. I need to see it. I know it’s not what I’m supposed to want. But, I can’t help it.”
I could barely breathe, the air felt so heavy. I couldn’t believe what Jake was saying, what he was doing. His request surprised me, made my pussy tighten around his cock even more. I couldn’t help my reaction, my desires for Todd that still existed. Time hadn’t killed them all, and neither had Jake.
Jake’s cock pulled out of me almost completely, before driving back in deep. He brought me back to him, back to the moment, and to his statement.
“Say you will, Trish. At least say you want to. I need to hear you say it.” As he fucked me harder, I tried to find the courage to form the words.
“I want to Jake.”
“Want to what? Say it.”
“I want you to watch Todd fuck me.”
Before my words were even out of my mouth, I was coming. So was Jake, his hands digging hard into my hips. He had barely pulled out, when he picked me up and carried me to the bed. He wasn’t finished with me. He dove between my legs, devouring me greedily. As his tongue flicked my clit and brought me to yet another screaming climax, my mind again went to Todd. One more time with Todd. Could I, for Jake?
It seemed so simple, too easy. I guess I shouldn’t have been shocked that Todd agreed to fuck me. Just like Jake said he would. I didn’t want to believe that he had been right, that Todd still wanted me. But, it seemed to be true. The fact that he had no objection to Jake watching did surprise me. When I presented him with the idea, he didn’t seem fazed at all. In fact, he too seemed turned on by the idea of showing Jake how he used to fuck me. And, now that it was actually going to happen, I couldn’t stop thinking about it either.
Todd would be arriving any minute. Jake had never seemed so calm. He sipped his scotch and sat in the chair in the corner of our bedroom. I paced. The doorbell rang, and I jumped. Jake stepped up to get the door, like he was expecting any normal delivery. He was acting like this was something we did every day.
I looked up and there they were, both standing in the doorway. It felt like a movie all of a sudden. Like it wasn’t going to be me at all, but some character who would know just how to handle this. Jake dimmed the lights and retreated to his seat. Todd stepped closer to me, standing just a few inches away. There was no easy or smooth way to do this. Nothing could ease the tension. No cute or clever thing to say that could get us all laughing. There was no way to do it, but just to do it.
Todd seemed to agree, wrapping his hand around my neck and pulling my face to his. His mouth covered mine. As my lips parted, I realized just how long it had been since someone else had kissed my lips. It felt foreign, yet so familiar.
I could feel Jake’s eyes. I wondered what he was thinking, if he was having second thoughts. As Todd kissed my neck, I stole a last glance at Jake. He sat back in his chair, his eyes barely visible in the dim light. I saw the corners of his mouth go up, and I felt myself start to relax. This was what he wanted, and I was going to give it to him. Todd’s sucking mouth and teeth scraped the soft flesh of my neck and I couldn’t help but cry out. Pulling my hair slightly, he exposed my neck further, opening me up to him. He maneuvered me closer to the bed.
Todd was pulling his shirt over his head, mine soon followed. He laid me back on the bed, his mouth closing around my nipple before my head hit the pillow. I grabbed his shoulders and arched my back, feeling his tongue pass over my tight flesh again and again. I looked over at Jake, his face as intense as his stare following Todd’s mouth. I could feel sweat starting to form on my back, and Todd’s hand slipping into my pants. Knowing he would find me wet, knowing how sure and steady his fingers always were made me moan out loud. As soon as he touched me, he breathed into my ear.
“God, you are so hot. Still as wet as I remember. You missed me, didn’t you?”
I couldn’t speak. Todd pulled his hand out, just long enough to strip us both naked. I felt his hard cock against my leg and his hand went right back between my legs, straight to my clit. I spread my thighs. Jake had moved forward in his chair, his erection visible through his pants. I couldn’t look for long, as Todd kissed me hard, bringing me back to him. I pushed my hips into his hand, feeling his fingers slide deeper inside me. He looked at me, and I could remember the last time I had stared up at him from this place.
“Do you want me to lick it?”
This time he spoke so Jake could hear him. He hadn’t asked me that in so long, but the question still sounded so right.
Todd disappeared, his hands pushing my thighs apart. His tongue ran all over my slit. I looked right at Jake, his eyes finally on mine. His cock was in his hand, his breath labored. Todd sucked my clit into his mouth, pushing his fingers deeper. He still knew just what I wanted. I couldn’t stop the moans coming from my mouth and I could hear Jake sigh in response. But, just as I was ready to let go, Todd stopped licking my pussy, letting his fingers lazily trace over my wet folds. Only one wet finger moved slowly in and out of me. He looked at Jake, forcing him to break his stare into my eyes.
“What do you think Jake, do you think she’s ready to get fucked?”
I gasped, my hand clutching at my chest. I heard Jake get up from the chair and walk towards the bed. He was staring down at me; at Todd’s finger pushing in and out of my wet pussy. He sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving mine.
“It looks like it, but maybe we should ask her. Come on Trish, we want to hear you say it. Tell us. Are you ready to get fucked?”
I could barely stand the heat coming from my pussy. Hearing them talk about me like that made me clamp down on Todd’s finger. I knew they were both waiting for me to answer, I just wasn’t sure I could. I looked back and forth between them. Todd and Jake; my past and my present. Even though it was Todd’s cock I was waiting for, it was Jake’s eyes I met first.
“Fuck me. God, fuck me.”
Todd eased his cock into me, and I watched Jake’s eyes follow his every thrust. My legs wrapped around his back, just like Jake wanted. Every move Todd made was so familiar, but everything was different now. His cock was moving slowly, his mouth swallowing all my moans. It was just all too much to take, too much to handle. I didn’t want to look, but I knew I had to. I had to see Jake’s eyes.
When I did, it was over. I was coming. Coming with Todd, but coming for Jake. It didn’t take long for Todd to join me, groaning into my neck with his release. Jake waited another second before following suit, collapsing back onto the bed as his cock jerked in his hand.
Just as in the beginning, there was no easy way for the night to end. Todd dressed and laid a gentle kiss on my lips. I stayed motionless, naked and heavy on the bed. Then, it was just Jake and I. He got in bed next to me, and wrapped his body around mine. He didn’t say anything. I felt my eyes grow heavy and right before I fell asleep he breathed one last word into my ear.