Answer:

Advice From The SNAG:

Thanks for your question Carol; that’s a problem I’m sure lots of women face! I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t love to shop, yet I could count the number of men that I know who enjoy it on one hand. I’m not sure why; maybe it has something once again to do with our innate programming (I know I always go back to this!).

I can’t imagine Caveman Bob sitting on the edge of the Great Plains and window shopping for the finest wildebeest, or browsing through a selection of antelope to find the one whose hide would best suit the colour of his cave walls. It was more a case of go out hunting, find your prey, kill it and then get home before you got killed yourself by some equally desperate sabre-toothed tiger.

Perhaps the way men feel about shopping is a modern day reflection of this ethic…instead of worrying about our actual lives though, we probably worry more about the state of our bank accounts! The longer you stay out on the hunt (or shopping), the more exposed you are to a potential risk.

I feel the innate urge myself, and I’m sure most men feel a variation of the same…when we decide we need something, we like to target our prey, quickly go for it, then get home again. Very little messing around involved; certainly little pontificating over which shade of green would best go with our eyes or with our kitchen décor. We do factor in some of these considerations of course; but I would say the amount of time we spend on such extraneous decision making around the needed item is barely a fraction of what women do.

Would you really like your man to love shopping the way a woman does? Imagine if he applied the same approach to shopping for his favourite things; sporting goods, vehicles, memorabilia, alcohol, courtside seats for example, and expected you to tag along and love the whole process unreservedly. Not to mention how broke you would both be!

I have to say that modern day metrosexual trends are probably diminishing this phenomenon amongst younger men, however. My teenage nephew, for example, spends hours deciding what hair gel he is going to buy. Maybe your hope can come from this younger generation.

I know as far as advice goes, this column is coming up pretty empty. How about this though? How about framing your love for shopping in a way that appeals to him, and getting him involved in the process? Explain the reason you spend hours going from shop to shop looking for the perfect sweater as being because you want to look as good as you possibly can for him when you go out. Men CAN be egocentric (so I hear!), so make sure he knows that the world revolves around him, and that his input into your shopping (and vice versa!) is absolutely vital to a successful hunt. We both know that is not necessarily true, but it may go someway to helping your problem.

Oh, and another suggestion to is to appease to the potential risk that he feels. Explain that by carefully checking out store after store you are doing him a favour by trying to minimise the fallout to your financial situation, simply by being able to find the biggest bargain. That might reassure him, and actually have him encouraging you to shop to your heart is content. Take it a little further like my partner does when she tells me how much money she has actually saved us! Reframing….it is deadly, and it works!

At the end of the day Carol, you may still be stuck with a guy who will never enjoy shopping. That may be something you just have to accept. Oh well; it’s a good excuse for a girl’s day out. Hopefully he has plenty of good points that make up for this perceived shortcoming though!!

I hope I still have a gig as the Snag in this column, because I know to many I have just crossed that caveman line!

Advice From The DAG:

Shopping! Ba! Unless it is for smokes, beer or cars, who wants to stand around in huge crowds blowing money you don’t have on things you don’t really need? I can do that at the races, and have a damn sight more fun doing it.

Even when I go out shopping for those necessities, I hate it.
Your guy sounds like he is a sensible lad Carol.

Why can’t I have everything delivered to my door? Someone should invent that service, and we can kill shopping altogether.

That would save me getting off of the couch, so what a God send.

And why should my missus get to spend all the money I make from my welfare check? I earn that fair and square.

And why do women always complain about not having enough clothes? Four sets of underwear (wear a pair a day and then turn them inside out for another four days use), four sets of socks (same deal), a set of long pants, short pants and a couple of shirts ought to be enough for anyone.

Anything more is just being excessive. Tell your guy to give me a call Carol, and when you go shopping next he can come round and we can watch some wrestling together.

You know, important stuff.