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Touch Me Once - A Girl's Guide to Self Pleasure!


I have a dirty, little secret (well, I have a lot of dirty, little secrets) that I have kept from my boyfriend: sometimes, I prefer whacking it to having sex with him. And it’s not because the sex is awful. It’s simply that I’ve gotten rather brilliant at pleasing myself.

And you can too!

As if you really need pointers on how to masturbate, ladies. I merely love talking about vaginas.

There are 4 key elements to a good fuck without complications.

1. Comfort Zone. I believe everyone who enjoys getting to know themselves should have that one special place (no pun intended) where they feel the most safe and comfortable. A place where they can be undisturbed. For me, it’s either my bed surrounded by pillows or in the shower under a hot stream of water. One also needs to go with what position feels best. Here are a few of my favorites:

A. Sitting up or on my back, legs spread

B. Standing, one leg propped up on the side of the tub

C. Cheek resting on a pillow, ass up in the air on spread knees

Mmm. That last one is used often.

2. Toys. Completely optional. I’m an old-fashioned gal myself, and usually use my fingers to get the job done. In fact, the only reason why I have ever used a vibrator is because I got one for Christmas (too much information?). There are pure, clitoral stimulators. There are vibrators that are flexible, allowing you to get that g-spot. There are even old-fashioned dildos (glass though, easy to clean and they won’t split) that will do the trick. Don’t be cheap about it either. You seriously get what you pay for when it comes to sex toys. Try pleasure balls/eggs too, they’re fantastic! What? I didn’t say I only use my fingers. And there is always your imagination. Creating tantalizing scenes in your mind equals free stimulation. And then my other most-used toy is my boyfriend. But that’s another article. The best place to shop online for toys is AdamEve.com.

3. Lubrication. Okay, typically if I’m driven to masturbating, I’m already pretty darn wet. But what do I know? I have one tip for you: don’t use strong or medicated lotions. Just… trust me, okay? But do use personal lube specifically for this type of activity (Durex, KY, etc.) Water soluble please!

4. Time. I’m a firm believer in a masturbation session, not a masturbation quickie. I know you can’t always take the time to light candles, play mood music, and have images instantly brought to mind for inspiration. But if you can, give yourself the time to really enjoy pleasuring yourself. The more relaxed you are while going it solo, the easier it will be to relax and reach orgasm when you’re having someone else do it. Plus you’ll know exactly what you want and what does it for you.

I asked my boyfriend if he knew any masturbation myths (no, he doesn’t know my dirty little secret), and here are the few he gave me.

Myth #1: If you masturbate, you will grow hair on your palms.

LOL. Sorry, I mean FALSE. I haven’t met a person that doesn’t masturbate. And I haven’t seen any hairy palms yet.

Myth #2: Masturbation causes acne and loss of eyesight.

FALSE. Masturbation really gets out of hand (total pun intended) when you’re a teenager. And what happens in our teenage years? Usually acne, and most teens end up getting glasses as well.

Myth #3: If you masturbate, you won’t be able to have children.

FALSE. Seriously? Um, we wouldn’t be here if that were true!

Myth #4: Masturbation feels awesome.

TRUE. Haha, well this is my own personal opinion. Come on, we learn to touch ourselves practically at birth. Plus, I needed a myth that is true. Sort of.

I’m not sure if you’ve been informed or merely got a chuckle out of this. Either way, I’ve done my job, and I hope your inner masturbator is pampering her pussy right now!

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