Sexual Bliss With An Older Man

The first lover in his fifties who I had was the harbormaster of a nearby town. He tended bar at an Irish pub, which is where I met him at the then-legal drinking age of 18. He was blonde and tanned and spent his summers sailing and his winters skiing. I found the lines around the corners of his wild blue eyes irresistible.

We had sex for the first time in his boathouse, on blankets draped over piles of coiled ropes. He’d lit small gaslamps set on wooden beams that cast a candle glow without attracting the attention of the neighbors or anyone out for a moonlight sail. Below us, his day-sailer and classicly restored wooden speedboat creaked on their lines. The sound of water lapping against the dock boards alternated with the slapping of his tongue licking up some expensive red wine that he poured over my flesh. I writhed under his mouth; the boys in high school simply didn’t do it like this.

"If you like sex as much as I do," he muttered, "we’re gonna have a real good time." And we did, though not for long. The difference in our ages was a sexual delight, but it made the development of any other aspects of our relationship rather awkward.

But the sex was phenomenal, and the things I came to love about sex with that man, I’ve continued to love about the men in their fifties and sixties who I’ve had sex with ever since. Older men feel different than young men. I remember my complete fascination as I rubbed my harbormaster’s shoulders and back as he slowly moved above me, his skin so different from the smooth freckled hide that encased my young boyfriend. I traced his scars with my tongue over and over, as each one told a tale: surgery, the spiral fracture of a leg on an Alpine slope, the gash from a swinging boom when caught in a storm off the Dry Tortugas.

The muscles of older men are in their full power, not hard little gym-induced packages but real muscles, formed by the passing days of their lives. Their bodies reflect the patterns of their lifetimes: the dockworker with his broadly rounded upper back; the carpenter with his lean calves and beautifully carved shoulders and triceps; the musician with a dozen flexing lines of muscle in his forearms and on the backs of his hands.

With those age-formed muscles and life-earned scars come aches and pains. Young men want to pounce all over you like a puppy and get straight into a swift rutting session, but the older man likes to lay back and let you run your hands over his body for hours, easing away his creaks and concerns until he lies beneath you like a cat stretched out before the fire, a soft smile on his face, his limbs liquid under your touch. Your ministrations will be well rewarded when he wakes up: older men have seen enough of the world that they appreciate a woman’s loving attention for the rare and wondrous thing that it is, and pay it back measure for measure.

And an older man will take his time – a fact that unfortunately is being preyed upon by the advertising and pharmaceutical industry who are engaged in a campaign of fear-mongering over the issue of erectile dysfunction. E.D., or impotence, is medically defined as the regular, ongoing inability to get or maintain and erection sufficient to sustain sexual intercourse. Even in older men, the condition is relatively rare, and is often associated with other issues – vascular disease, diabetes, and being overweight – which are best relieved by addressing the entire condition of the body than by popping pills that will cancel out this one symptom by which nature is telling your man something is not right with his health.

Cutting down or out on alcohol, eating healthy foods, and maintaining regular exercise will likely keep your older guy in his glorious manly prime in and out of bed, and the fact that he so desires your sexual favors gives you great leverage to nudge him onto the right track in this regard. (Of course, if your older sexual partner is experiencing a complete inability to generate a ghost of an erection, or your intimate knowledge of his body leads you to think he may be having more serious health problems, you may have to hold out the carrot of sexual bliss as inspiration to get his stubborn self to a doctor; reassure him that you value not only his sexual health but the comforting sound of his strong healthy heartbeat when you rest your head on his chest.)

An older man’s penis – and this varies widely depending on the guy – may take longer to become erect, may not be as rock-hard as that of a twenty-year-old, and may sag here and there through the midst of a lovemaking session. But this is not a disease to be treated; in fact, it’s an enormous plus to the erotic woman seeking pleasurable, intimate sex. Feeling an older man’s cock come to life in your mouth or your hand is a delight all on its own. And any hesitancy on his penis’ part is merely an open invitation for him to pleasure you with other parts of his body: his fingers and tongue, naturally, but it also gives you time to move along his thighs and ass, to kneel over him with his hipbone pressed hard against your clit, rubbing yourself into a frenzy. Some men immediately take great joy in the sense that you can find sensual satisfaction in their bodies in many ways; others need to be told and shown, directly and explicitly (older men are not usually good at subtlety), that you are not in the least worried about what it takes to get them hard. In fact, you’ll make good use of that opportunity.

Riding on a more flexible shaft with the warm texture of a fresh loaf of bread is a sensual joy which is different from – for me, I’d say even better than – the stiff parallel strokes of a young, steel-rigid cock. Some positions may lend themselves better to your sexually pleasurable joining; he may become frustrated if, for instance, in kneeling down behind you, his cock slips out of you while attempting to maintain the long deep strokes that are so heavenly in this position. If this happens, try turning half-way around, with one leg between his kneeling legs and the other up on his shoulder where he can hang on to your thigh and press it against his torso. Your other thigh will be underneath his penis and balls supporting him, and the depths to which he can press into you without fear of falling are extraordinary.
Kneeling on top of him, facing forward or back, is another workable option, and it lets you maintain control over the pace and take your own pleasure from his body – something the older lover is more than willing, and able, to let you do. Age levels the sexual playing field. Your older lover won’t jump selfishly to his own satisfaction; he’ll meet you half way, and judge the success of your lovemaking sessions not by how many times they got it up and came in one night, but by the depths of your pleasure.

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