Secrets Exposed

Starring: Jolean, Cytherea, Keiko, Rod Fontana, Sin-Nye, Dave Pounder, Tony Sexton, Gia Paloma
Director: James DiGiorgio
Studio: Smash Pictures
2003

After a few months of enjoying Ninn Worx and Andrew Blake productions, I felt it was time to get down and dirty again, and check out what the rest of the porn industry has been producing over the last few years.

Secrets Exposed has a great premise…women reminisce on past “secret” sexual encounters, which they then recreate and we get to watch. Very promising indeed, and continues director Jim DiGiorgio’s run of producing original material after his previous effort, “Real Sexx Letters”, recreated the sexy affairs provided by everyday folk in letters sent to him. I found this to be a big interest point, and felt excited to take a look at the film because of it.

Each scene begins with a female voice over setting up the situation, which is well done and warms up the imagination nicely. First we come across the stunning Cytherea, who is a genuine beauty and burns with a great deal of sexual charisma right from the start. It is very rare to see such a naturally gorgeous girl in adult films. Something else that is rare in adult film is for the stars to have some acting ability and range, which Cytherea seems too. I hope in her career she gets a chance to explore and develop this further (hold my breath?), because her transformation in this scene from a shy and innocent girl awkwardly going through the motions of her first nude photo shoot into a sexual vixen devouring photographer Brian Heston is very impressive. Cytherea begins with a sexy slow strip for the camera, revealing a beautifully proportioned feminine body which you can’t help but admire. When the photographer puts the moves on her, she succumbs and we get to enjoy some sizzling action. This girl can give a blowjob! She works Heston’s cock like a finely tuned instrument and you can tell he is genuinely enjoying it, as is she. Also check out the amazing Reverse Cowgirl position…Cyhterea does a better job in the saddle than most professional bull riders could ever hope too. A friend told me that Cytherea has made a name for herself because of her ability to “squirt” ejaculate, so I was eagerly anticipating baring witness to this, but alas, no show. Great opening scene however, and I am now a huge Cytherea fan. Also a warm shout out to her gorgeous shoes in this scene… simply fabulous!

Next we come to Gia Paloma, and her big boobs, doing a workout session with personal trainer Rod Fontana. Fontana is a porn veteran, and I always find him a great laugh because of the way he plays up to the cornyness of most dialogues and his limited acting ability. Whilst not being a jaw dropping, lustful hunk, he seems to always have fun, which in the right situation is a great asset in an adult film. This is no exception, and he steals the scene because Gia, to be frank, doesn’t exactly set the screen on fire. She robotically overacts her movements and sounds, and just comes off as unbelievable. That is too say you can tell she is not “feeling” the scene at all…maybe that is because of the way Rod plays his part, but who can tell. This is still an enjoyable scene to watch although I wasn’t tearing down the house with wanton desire whilst absorbing it. Kudos for the toe sucking though…there’s not enough of that these days!

The third scene features the very attractive, and very sensual, Joelean. I think of her as a very smooth beauty; there is nothing fake or forced about her. Her graceful movements reveal a deep seeded passion for sex and pleasure, which generally translates into smouldering performances. This is no exception, and for me, is the highlight scene of the movie. Joelean’s husband is away on business, so she invites her boyfriend Tony Sexton around for some fun. The voiceover is very sexy, and had me purring straight away. They play out the fantasy of the Peeping Tom, with Tony watching from the shadows as Joelean caresses herself whilst looking gorgeous in some lovely lingerie. Enter Tony, “surprising“ the actress with some wicked oral that puts a smile on her face. Tony knows how to use his tongue and fingers very effectively…this should be made compulsory viewing for any male. Great action follows, helped all the more by the appearance that both Joelean and Tony are very much into this scene and enjoying their work. Nothing adds some steam to a scene like that added believability when both actors are having a great time with their performance. Lovers of oral will have a sensational time here; hard and passionate sex as well with great energy. Smoking hot!

The next scene is the lesbian romp between Dominica, who plays the clumsy office assistant, and Keiko, who takes the role of the boss. I need to be honest; the less said about this scene the better. It is arguably the worst lesbian scene I have ever experienced, with neither girl genuinely getting into the action and giving passionless, robotic performances. It is not helped by some shocking camera work, terrible direction and ridiculously dark lighting. Clearly the director has no idea when it comes to making great lesbian scenes…there is no kissing or tenderness, an excess of dildos and a decided lack of warmth which makes this just a stinker. God…please put me in a position one day when I can actually make porn, because shit like this will be condemned forever as a throwback to an era when porn was for rock apes. Actually, not even rock apes would get into this scene. There is not a single redeeming factor about this girl-girl action, and I have never watched porn in such a non-stimulated state of abject boredom before. Worth seeing to contrast the previous scene…some of the best, and worst, porn you can get back to back.

In the final scene we come to another boss and assistant scene, with the Asian Sin-Nye being convinced by her boss Dave Pounder that she is doing such a wonderful job that she is really going places in the company (as in underneath him). Actually it isn't that terrible…Big Dave isn’t a bad looking guy, and he certainly knows how to fuck. I have never seen Sin-Nye in action before, and my first impression was that she is a very attractive girl. As the scene goes on however, a few things start to stand out, such as her overdone make-up and the badly positioned tattoo on her boob which looks tacky. Don’t know why those two points got to me because I’m not generally too judgemental on personal appearances, but they did, and I found myself focusing more on them than on the actual action. So that says something right there I guess. Very ordinary performance by Sin-Nye, it is a serious case of going through the motions and not showing any genuine enthusiasm. Eye on the pay check I guess. Dave Pounder isn’t much better, although at least he is okay to look at with a nice cock. The whole affair is passionless and left me feeling very apathetic towards it…I know that is how I am feeling when I start to pick things apart as I am obviously doing here. Poor way to finish the movie.

“Secrets Exposed” is a very up and down adult film. The good is very good, with Joelean and Cytherea stealing the show with their scenes which are fantastic and will really get you involved. However, the bad is very bad.

There is little music to get in the way of the “Ohhs” and “Ahhs” of the players, which unless you have an original and high quality score, is never a bad thing (I for one am well and truly over corny music in porn). Unfortunately the rest of the production values are very amateurish at times…the lighting, editing, camerawork and the direction all tend to be uninspired far too often.

So is this movie worth watching? Well, yes it is, but only if to enjoy the two best scenes and fast forward through the others. I can’t say enough about Joelean and Cytherea; I am keen to sample more of their work because they are gems. The rest are amusing at best, and desperate at worst. My advice is don’t buy this movie…but do rent it, or watch it in TEW’s Erotic Theatre where you can get value for your money and not feel ripped off.

GUYS – OOO (Two Screaming O’s out of 5)
GIRLS – OOO
ACTION – OOO
STORY – OOO
STYLE – OOO

OVERALL – OOO…the good is very good, and the bad is very laughable.