Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge

Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Joone
Release: 2009
Cast: Jesse Jane, Evan Stone, Riley Steele, Katsuni, Sasha Grey, Stoya, Belladonna, Gabriella Fox, Shawna Lenee, Shyla Stylez, Veronica Rayne, Abbey Brooks, Brianna Love, Brea Lynn, Jenna Haze, Rhylee Richards, Tommy Gunn, Steven St Croix, Ben English, Charles Dera, James Deen, Mick Blue, Manuel Ferrara, Marco Banderas

Shiver me timbers! Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge just made me walk the plank and plunge into a sea of warm, sinful nastiness...and I loved every second.

Welcome to the first real entry into the newest genre of porn, the “Adult Blockbuster”. This film is huge, everything about it is top shelf and cutting edge, and I watched it from start to finish remaining thoroughly entertained throughout (and massively turned on!). It is not just as a sex flick either, which it is of the highest order, but actually as an enjoyable feature movie.

Cast wise, this is the best of the best. Not just in terms of how beautiful or attractive each cast member is either, but in terms of outright talent. There is some seriously good acting to be found here that wouldn't be out of place in mainstream movies, and the sexual performances are just downright incendiary!

Evan Stone is the male lead, playing the role of the hilariously highfalutin Captain Reynolds to perfection. Seriously, he is classic. Looking like a “I-take-myself-way-to-seriously” Fabio type bucaneer, he bumbles and swashbuckles his way through a series of adventures which ultimately lead to his triumphant claim of being the “greatest Pirate Hunter of all time”. Naturally, given this is still a sex flick, he also finds his way into some intense fucking with a series of beautiful woman, and his boasts mask a sense of inner uncertainty and the need for constant reassurance. Just a geat character to get swept away with. When I first read the synopsis I thought “errr, cornball”, and he is, but boy does he have charsima that gets you rooting for him.

Jesse Jane plays his plutonic first mate Jules, and shows she really does have some understated acting ability. That understatement relates strictly to her acting with her clothes on, however, because once they are shed she metamorphisies into the wanton nymph we know her to be. I have always had mixed feelings about Jesse Jane. I love her look, love her spunk, love her convincing abilities, but to me when she fucks or sucks she gets a little too crazy for my liking. I always think she resembles someone receiving 10,000 volts the way she shakes and bumps around like a woman in permanent orgasmic fit. Can't say she isn't enthusiastic though, and she does look absolutely fantastic in these pirate costumes. She does a great job and is a strong female lead who shares tangible chemistry with Evan Stone.

My two standout female performers, however, are Belladonna (the GREAT Belladonna in my opinion!), who plays super warrior piratess Olivia, and Katsuni as Empress Xifeng. Both show excellent acting abilites with simmering seductive guile, and knowing that at some point they are going to get naked and nasty builds sexual anticipation until the mutliple, satisfying payoffs. Belladonna is just beautiful, again the pirate outfit works so well, and her sex is always intense and satiating. I love watching her perform because you just believe that is really her letting go, not just an actress putting on a performance. And Katsuni is bewitching; playing an evil Asian Empress suits her to perfection. She is that quintessential Oriental beauty...mysterious, beguiling and deeply erotic. Of course, when she gets naked, the fireworks really begin.

Special mentions also to porn legend Steven St. Croix, who plays Jesse Jane's ex Marco. He is HILARIOUS in his role, his fearful facials are just priceless. He may be getting older, but he still knows how to work that lethally big cock as well as any younger swordsman, and naturally he gets plenty of opportunities. Also, I'm in love with Sasha Grey. I want her badly. She looks about as good as anyone I have ever seen on film. Hot, hot, hot. Such a unique look that just burnt me alive; I was salivating for her to get naked and perform and I wasn't disappointed. She plays a minor role as a crewmate, but watching her and Belladonna work together towards the end is just bliss.

I have to say that Shay Jordan, playing an oriental succubus, annoyed me. Yes she is extremely beautiful, I love her body and the way she throws herself into her sex scenes, but her over the top Asian accent pissed me off. It is an over the top film, I know that, but I was cringing with her exaggerated “I rov wu”. I know it isn't her fault and she would have been directed to do that, and she does make up for it with extra hot sex scenes, I have to give her that. She handles two cocks like a real pro!

The story is involved as you would expect in any feature film. Blending a great deal of Pirates Of The Caribbean with some Star Wars and other themes, I was engaged from start to finish. Seriously, it is good. Not Oscar worthy storytelling by any stretch of the imagination, but thoroughly entertaining. Captain Reynolds, Jules and Olivia battle Empress Xifeng and the resurrected Victor Scagnetti on the high seas, encountering several distractions like sex slave auctions, pit fights with monsters, a skeletal pirate crew and a giant aqua-squid along the way. The film is set in detailed and convincing pirate shantytowns and on board realistically created shipdecks. The whole thing is rollicking, unrestrained good fun. Not to be taken seriously, but a couple of hours of complete release and quality Adult entertainment.

Director Joone does a stellar job in bringing such a monumental production together. Everything about it is absolutely first rate, and I LOVED the costumes, they are fantastic. The special effects are just out of this world and it feels like you are watching one of those ultra tricked up computer games at times. It really is like nothing I've seen in porn before and would fit very comfortably in a mainstream movie cinema; in fact, it would blow away many of those waste of time general releases for sheer production and entertainment quality.

The sex is weaved in to the movie beautifully, with each of the 10 sex scenes (yes, 10!) artistically arranged within the storyline at the appropriate point so as to help the plot develop and flow rather than over-dominate the whole film. Again, I haven't seen it done quite like this before. I found myself building up to the first scene thinking “no way, you are not going to see full nudity and fucking” because it was feeling like such a regular movie, and for me, that added so much more anticipation. And the pay-off...wow. Not exactly gentle softcore action here! The great thing with this is that if you want to watch the movie in it's own right you can, and the sex helps keep things boiling along and adds that extra punch to the entertainment, but if you want to just watch the sex scenes as a normal porno, you can on the 2nd DVD. Outstanding concept, something for everyone no matter what your mood.

So, sexually speaking, what can you expect? Well, you name it, this has pretty much got it covered. I won't detail every scene, lest we be here all night, but a few highlights...

Despite my little rant about Shay Jordan earlier, I give her props for being a fantastic performer. She kicks off the action in the first scene by providing “stress relief” for James Deen and Mick Blue in a threeway with real energy. I wasn't sure about her Donald Duck inpersonation while she performs some very deep deep throat (check it out to know what I mean), but she gets those big cocks all the way down with enthusiasm. Nice visual as she lays on her side and takes one cock in her pussy and another in her mouth, and her reverse cowgirl is first class. In many ways, this scene sets the mood for the film with its vigour.

The third scene, featuring an all girl lust-brawl between Belladonna and Jesse Jane, is one of the most intense and bizarre scenes I've ever witnessed. They look stunning together, two gorgeous women with hot bodies totally into each other. But the lead in shows them to be rivals, and the chatter and dirty talk between them almost borders on hatred before Belladonna crumbles into some need for reassruance at the end. They really go hard at each other here! Anally to; and since when has butt sniffing become sexy? No sugar and spice gentle lady on lady action in this scene; instead it is a memorable XXX performance which pushes the limits of sexiness and will leave you as much disturbed as turned on.

Scene four's orgy is a full on harem fleshfest starring some very attractive men and women enjoying a variety of positions and combinations. It just looks amazing and something anybody would dream to be a part of. Shyla Stylez, Marcos Banderas and Stoya are the standouts for me, catching the eye with some real energy and charisma (and hot bods of course!). This is a scene of sheer decadence, and the action is really well captured by cleverly combining close ups with group shots. Job well done to the Director!

Jenna Haze is always one of my favourite performers because she pulls of that good girl innocent act so convincingly, only to reveal herself to be completely filthy once she gets warmed up. Her scene with Evan Stone is hot and heavy one on one action, passionate and full of chemistry. She is a beautiful woman with a sexy body and I always love her moans and sighs which let you know she is fully into the moment. She also has this uniquely seductive way of rolling her body during sex which just looks fabulous. Evan Stone is, of course, a seasoned performer and carries his part professionally, providing a rock solid cock and some veteran swordplay. When he tells her to “suck his cannonballs” it is priceless...one of those lines you need to see to fully appreciate the well timed humour. This scene features some lovely spooning.

The final sex scene of the movie provided me with the payoff of seeing Belladonna and Sasha Grey double teaming Evan Stone. These girls look phenomenal together, striking brunettes with real feminine bodies indulging each other, and Evan Stone provides the meat in their sandwich perfectly. Lots of anal play, some sweetness between the girls, wicked deep throat and pounding doggy style fucking made this a fitting climax to the movie. A little mouth to mouth cum swapping provides a freak factor to top it off.

This is a great DVD package for couples or singles, for those wanting to enjoy just about the best adult film of all time or a straight out porn extravaganza, or for anyone who generally wants to see how far the adult industry has come. It is fun and insanely sexy. There are actually four DVD's...one for the movie (2 hours plus by the way...feature length), one for nothing but the full sex scenes (which is worth the price by itself), one for out-takes and bloopers, and the last shows the making of and behind the scenes action. Worth every cent of your hard earned money, because all in all you are getting more than 6 hours of high quality adult entertainment

GUYS: OOOO (Four Screaming “O”'s out of five)
GIRLS: OOOOO
STYLE: OOOOO
STORY: OOOOO
SEX: OOOOO

OVERALL: Quite possibly the best porn film of all time; one you need in your collection. You will not be disappointed! Get your hands on a copy from AdamEve.com

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