Men At Play
A peek behind the doors of the largest gay bathhouse in Toronto
The beautiful wooden doors at 105 Carlton Street could be the entrance to an exclusive restaurant or perhaps to an elegant suite of offices right in the heart of downtown Toronto. The wood is a warm honey color with only the word “Excess” giving any clue as to what lies within. It’s neither a restaurant nor a suite of offices, but a place unknown to many.
An incredibly sensual and erotic world waits for those who enter—as long as they’re male.
I had emailed the owners of the spa asking if I could get a tour as part of my research for a book in my Ellora’s Cave Bounty Hunter series.
Robert, one of the owners, sent a reply saying that I could certainly come and visit, the only problem being that they are open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. In other words, they never close. He also mentioned that nothing makes the cock go down faster than a woman wandering the corridors of a gay bathhouse and that’s definitely not good for business.
We picked a morning when the spa wouldn’t be too busy and they could just announce that there was a woman on the premises. Jean, the manager of the club, met me at the back door. He had a wicked laugh and an equally wicked sense of humor. We went to the lounge where Robert, the owner, was waiting along with Matty, a young gay man from northern Ontario. Robert is well spoken and beautiful. He’s in his early 60s but looks much younger. Matty is quiet and shy until you get to know him.
The situation was a bit awkward at first. I am, after all, a woman and this is a gay spa.
It was the butter tarts that broke the ice. My neighbor made them and I brought them as a thank-you gift. My hosts liked them. We talked about who made the best tarts and that was it. We laughed, we talked and we relaxed.
The lounge could have been an upscale neighborhood bar with its pool table, big-screen television and bar stools along the counter. But the artwork on the walls was a definite tip-off. Floor-to-ceiling black-and-white photographs made into vertical banners are devoted to the beauty of the male form, naked or partially clothed.
We made a quick tour of the lounge, pausing to look at the display of sex toys—some cock rings and leather paraphernalia along with an artificial arm with the hand formed into the shape of a duck’s beak. We’d only started the tour so I thought I’d save my questions for later. Especially the one about the hand.
It was announced that a woman was touring the premises and the play areas were all empty as we moved around the building. I did bump into some men who were wearing just a towel but everyone was polite and really took no notice of me.
Our first stop was the playroom. Many of the rooms at Spa Excess have been created for visual or perhaps visceral pleasure so you can watch or be watched. As we entered, I noticed that one wall was made of glass and behind it was a shower room. The top half of the glass was dark so you couldn’t see behind it yet the bottom was clear so you would have a great chest-down view of whoever was showering. The clear part was actually a two-way mirror so you could see in, but the people showering wouldn’t know if anyone was watching or not. From what Robert said, this is an incredibly popular spot and there would definitely be lots of men watching.
The other side of the room was in total darkness, with only a line of small lights along the baseboard. This section of the spa was for glory-hole sex. Robert used a flashlight to show me that the room was full of cubicles placed in a horseshoe shape. Each one had holes cut out at various levels for men to stick their cock through and have it sucked by someone on the other side.
A ramp led up to the middle of the cubicles which, if there had been any light, would form a sort of viewing area. The high platform solved a mystery for me. I couldn’t figure out why the cubicles had holes set high up on the wall. The answer— someone on the platform would be at exactly the right height to stick his cock through a hole that would be at mouth level for the person in the little booth. It was all really quite ingenious but unfortunately empty.
Part of the allure of Spa Excess is the voyeuristic nature of many rooms. A small bathroom was equipped with a sprayer at the sink so men could wash their genitals. This room was black with shiny silver chrome and one wall devoted to a long, gleaming trough-style urinal to accommodate several men peeing at once. Behind it was a low two-way mirror that allowed men to watch from the other side. Robert mentioned that the bench behind the mirror was one of their most popular spots for viewing and for sex.
The television room next door had an array of pedestal seats. As multiple TVs played man-on-man porn, Robert explained that this room was for sex, not television watching. The TVs are the impetus not the purpose of this chamber. Men would engage in anal or, more popularly, oral sex to the accompaniment of the raw sounds coming from the movies. At http://www.spaexcess.com, a tongue-in-cheek list of spa rules has been posted. Rule # 32 “If you can remember the title of the porno movie that was showing in the "rest section", you did not have a good time.”
Beyond the TV room is a playroom with a sling, a large St. Andrew’s Cross on the wall, a play bench and a mock jail. The corners of the sling were suspended from the mirrored ceiling by chains that had ankle straps to hold the man’s legs in the air. He would be a bottom. Most men who come to the spa prefer to be bottoms. Tops are much rarer. Robert jokingly said that whenever a top comes to the spa they want to announce that there’s a top in the building. Apparently, most men at the spa prefer to be fucked rather than do the fucking.
The sling was at the perfect height for one man to slide his cock into another. While the man in the sling is being pleasured by one or many, other men could watch and either masturbate or have sex.
The St. Andrew’s cross had wrist and ankle straps so a man could be tethered to the cross and then driven crazy by one or more partners. Rule # 19: “People who say, ‘I’ve never done that before,’ should be informed that the ability to deep throat is not genetic.”
The play bench is padded like a gymnastics vault box but low enough and small enough to allow three or four men to play at the same time. Someone can be spread over the end of the padded bench while a partner enters him from behind. The bench person can take a cock in his mouth at the same time and others can watch. The jail is a set of open bars on a raised platform so a convict can stick his penis through the bars to be serviced by someone down on the floor. This area is all about group gratification, either by taking part or watching others while you jack off.
Moving from room to room, I noticed two things. There was music playing everywhere and it was a constant force with a driving, throbbing rhythm. It made you want to fuck. And so did the TVs playing man-on-man porn wherever I looked—in rooms, in hallways, around corners. There was twink porn, bear porn, multiple partners, pairs, anything you can imagine and some you can’t.
At Spa Excess, customers can rent a locker for eight hours for $13. They receive a towel and a key, put their clothes in a locker then head to the playrooms for fun and games.
A customer doesn’t even need to move from the locker room to begin his sexual odyssey. It has benches for sex as well as a bedroom next door. He may find the occupants have generously left the door open. An open door means you are welcome to enter and play or just watch.
You can also pay $22 for a room for eight hours. You can shut the door and sleep or just relax. Or you can take off your clothes and put them in the locker in the room then lie down on the bed. Men will pass by the open door and look inside. Lying on your stomach means that you’re a bottom and a nod of the head could invite someone in to be on top. Lying on your back means you’re a top, which is very popular, so people who come into the room expect to be your bottom. One room we looked at had a two-way mirror so the guests would have no idea whether or not they were being observed.
My favorite rule, #14: “If you see a man in a room with a can of Crisco, a thick belt, and a bottle of poppers neatly arrayed on the little table, before entering, be certain you know the purpose of all three items.”
From the heavy sexual atmosphere of the private rooms, we went up a set of stairs and outside. The top floor of Spa Excess has a lovely rooftop patio like you’d see at an expensive hotel. Unlike a hotel, however, the space here is not used just for sunbathing or relaxation. Oral sex would be the pastime of choice in the daytime and anal sex at night. The area has some privacy screens but is visible from the top floors of nearby buildings so neighbors are able to see exactly what’s going on. Rule #42: “Formal attire means a black jockstrap.”
The place that drew me was the Wet Area, a sensual play area leading to the 12-man hot tub. One side of the corridor had a sauna behind clear glass and as soon as the door was opened, the steam poured out around us, the smell of eucalyptus filling our lungs. Inside, it was dark and the steam created a hidden, mystical world. It was easy to imagine men rising out of the sensuous fog, naked and ready for sex.
The best feature of the sauna was the view. The opposite wall was a beautiful amber color with soft green trim. But the esthetically pleasing nature of the decor belied its real purpose. The entire wall had showerheads and soap dispensers set along it at intervals. The mental vision was staggering. A whole line of naked men all showering at the same time while those having sex in the sauna could watch from behind the steamy glass.
Robert further enhanced my visualization by explaining that the people who were at the showers would be having anal and oral sex not just showering. The water and soap were just visceral aids for more intense pleasure. This was when I wished for a cloak of invisibility! Rule # 44: “You can never be too rich, too muscular, or have too big a dick.”
Dragging myself reluctantly away from daydreams of men in the shower, I followed Robert to the hot tub area. This room had the feel of a Roman bath, with its benches along the walls, tile floor and tall columns supporting the ceiling. The music here is different, soft and sultry. The television screen playing the prerequisite porn was massive and impossible to ignore as I sat and took notes. Men loving other men as I tried to write, the visions of the shower and sauna still floating in my head.
Robert told me that this room would be full at night. Many men would be using the pool for their pleasure arena while others opted for the benches scattered about to facilitate their anal or oral sex. Rule # 37: “At all times, remember that tubbing is a participation, not a spectator sport.”
The spa has a universal gym but it’s not used for patrons to buff up. It’s a way to show off your body as people pass by. Rule # 41: “Georgina's law of the weight room: People working out are doing it for your benefit, not theirs.”
There is also a tanning booth, which is big enough for only one person and a massage room with a licensed massage therapist on duty during certain hours.
Patrons may visit an on-site clinic for help or questions with health issues. The mission statement of the spa is "to provide a unique multi-purpose Bathhouse for men in a safe and healthy environment. We are the ‘safe sex’ spa.”
Weekends are the busiest time. During the day, Robert says, the clients are usually older, with younger men coming in the evening after work. Most clients are in their late 20s and older.
The facility has 85 rooms and more than 200 lockers. More than 11,000 customers pass through the front doors each month. Approximately 18,700 condoms are given out per month. That works out to less than two per customer but you must remember that oral sex is the game of choice.
Conversation comes around to sexual preferences. One of the men I interview says he doesn’t particularly like having a penis. I ask if he would rather be a bottom. He doesn’t like that either. He’s into fisting or having someone use his foot to enter him. I think back to the artificial arm in the glass display case and shiver.
Another tells me that he loves rimming. He says that as he runs his tongue around another man’s anus, he can feel the head of his cock growing larger.
Matty says he loves to cuddle and be held. He likes to spend time with older men because many of them are looking for companionship as much as sex and he enjoys that too. He often uses the spa as a haven away from the world, sometimes renting a room only to relax and sleep rather than for sex.
These people are open and honest about their life and their lifestyle. Robert has unlocked a very private world and allowed me to step inside and I am grateful for his kindness and generosity.
To get more of a feel for what happens at Spa Excess, go to hjttp://www.spaexcess.com and have a look. Don’t forget to check out the Rules of the Baths. They’ll make you laugh.
If you go to http://www.excesshard.com, you can view some videos that were shot at the spa. They definitely help you to imagine what goes on behind the doors of 105 Carlton Street.
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Born in Ireland, Kaenar Langford now lives in rural Canada and is the author of LUCIFER’S ANGEL and JUDE’S CHOICE. For more information about her and her books, visit http://www.kaenar.com and http://www.ellorascave.com/AuthorsBooks.asp?AuthorCode=KLan
This article originally appeared in Lady Jaided magazine (http;//www.ladyjaided.com) and is still available in its archives at http://www.ladyjaided.com/0208/feature.html


Glimpse of Gay Life
Kaenar description is fascinating. You're very lucky, Kaenar, to have been afforded such an intimate view of an exclusive men's world. I well hung on every word.
A fact I found especially interesting is that the men in the bathhouse prefer to be a bottom than a top. Being focused on my penis as the primary instrument of my pleasure I would have guessed the opposite.
I have several gay acquaintances, and a gay relative I'm close to, but none of these men have spoken to me of their intimate practices, and I've always been reluctant to probe. I did learn something interesting, however, from a female cousin who is a writer and was researching an artist for a publication.
The artist, now deceased, was gay, and his work had visual references that would be difficult for most of us to understand. My cousin enlisted the help of gay men she knew.
One of the artist's images was of daisies. The daisies referred to a practice that men can participate in and women can not. A circle of men is formed, a daisy chain, with each man in the next. Now that's male bonding.
Matthew
spa excess to Matthew
Dear Matthew,
I'm so delighted that you enjoyed the article. Most of the comments that I've had have been from women who have thanked me for taking them behind the doors of a very male world. Most of them said that they could picture the spa just from my descriptions. I'm a visual learner so that makes a huge difference in the writing of a piece like this.
I was also very surprised that most men at the spa preferred to be bottoms and that oral sex was preferred over anal sex. That was the opposite of what I would have expected.
The guys at the spa spoke about a daisy chain when I did the interview and tour.
Make sure you check out their short videos at www.excesshard.com as they really portray the atmosphere of Spa Excess. Check out my site too, please. My first book is m/f but my second book is m/m/f.
Thanks for taking the time to write,
Kaenar