Column #9 - Everyday Romance

Ah, romance.

It is the stuff of legends, movies and scads of books with scantily clad men and women on their covers. Many of us yearn for it and know when it is missing in our lives, but what is romance really?

Let’s see what the dictionary has to say:

Ro-mance: noun

1. A love affair.
2. Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people.
3. A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination or enthusiasm for something. 4. A mysterious or fascinating quality or appeal.

February has, since medieval times, been the month of romance. Beginning with the pagan celebration of Lupercelia (which interestingly enough falls on my birthday,) moving to the first written valentine sent in the early 1400’s and ending today with tiny candy hearts saying “ILU,” we humans have a long history of romance.

Whether you are in a relationship or you are currently having your own adventures, you should make romance an important part of your everyday life. The four definitions above offer us endless opportunities to introduce romance into our day to day pleasures.

1. A love affair. There is something undeniably wonderful about being in a relationship with someone you care for. Sometimes the pairings are people who are so much alike they can finish each other’s sentences. Other affairs involve people who are completely different and who teach us something new about ourselves. Then again there are those relationships where you are constantly battling, fighting each other every second of the day. That last kind is most exciting to me and is worth every bit of the frustration – never a dull moment!

But, no matter what type of love affair you might get involved in, make sure to let the person you love know how much they mean to you. If you can’t say the words, then show them how you feel. Leave them a piece of their favorite candy on their pillow; pack up a special picnic lunch and surprise them at work; or rent their favorite movie and pop some popcorn. Little things do mean a lot and keeping the romance alive is well worth the trouble.

2. Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people. Hmm, now this is a slight bit different than definition number one because it implies passion in addition to love. Not all loving relationships are passionate, nor do they have to be. Sometimes being pleasantly comfortable with someone is much more satisfying than being intensely pursued.

If you long for that passion though, and it has been lacking a bit lately, there are some things you can do to heat things up. Be the aggressor, show the person how intense your feelings, don’t just assume they know. Your actions and words can make a huge difference in how someone responds to you. Eye contact is the key to making your feelings known. Touching someone lets them know you are there with them, that they can’t just brush you off. Surprise someone with a candlelit bubble bath or a bed full of rose petals. Perhaps a night of dancing will bring some sparks back into your life. Give it a try, you have nothing to lose. And if by chance things don't heat up for one reason or another, well, sit back and enjoy the companionship and the warmth of knowing someone loves you and you are not alone in the world.

3. A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination or enthusiasm. Now this is an interesting one. Romance in this sense does not have to involve another person, so if you are between relationships or are just having a good time on your own, this is the idea for you. Isn’t there something or someone you can’t get out of your head? A type of music, a movie star, that delicious chocolate éclair you had for breakfast with all that smooth pastry cream, sinful dark chocolate glaze and light as air pastry which just melts in your… oh sorry, I got carried away. Please forgive me.

Give yourself leave to indulge in one of your passions. If you’ve got a thing for a movie star, get every movie they’ve ever done and sit yourself down for a weekend of stargazing. Or if you’ve a yen for chocolate éclairs, learn how to bake them yourself so you can have them whenever you want. Perhaps you’ve loved watching ballroom dancing on TV, well then, get out and take some lessons! You may not stick with it, but for a brief period of time you gave in to your fascination and allowed yourself to be consumed by something. Those types of experiences enrich your life in a way you will never forget.

4. A mysterious or fascinating quality or appeal. This is the one that gets me, it is an undefined “something” that an item, or place, or person, or idea has. You love it but you don’t know why. Everyone can add bits of this to their life. This is about allowing your whims to play out and not making excuses for them.

I’ll make a confession here: I like chickens - yes, the feathery kind that lay eggs. I mean the real live walking around ones too, not the ones browned in the oven and lying in orange glaze on a platter (though they are good too.) Really sensuous stuff right? My reputation is dashed forever. Frankly, I have no idea why I like chickens. When I was little I used to collect eggs with my grandmother and the mean things would peck at me so I should hate them, but I don’t. They make me smile, they make me feel giddy. You know what? I buy things with chickens on them. Chicken calendars, chicken trivets, chicken pictures, chicken everything. It makes me happy. And that is all I need to know.

So, this number four reason is a lead in to your next assignment for your Sensual Woman Journal. Find something or someone or someplace that you find mysterious or fascinating. Most likely you already know what it is because we carry them around with us all the time in our minds. Make a page in your Journal devoted to this thing, or person, or place. Add pictures, descriptions, plane fare amounts, lists of what you know about it, or don’t know about it. Just take a few minutes to enjoy this thing that fascinates you. No excuses that it is too odd or stupid or bizarre (I like chickens, remember?) Just do it for the pure joy of it.

Well, my friends. Make this February a month filled with romance in all its varieties. It’ll add a spring to your step and a smile to you face.

Until next time my friends, expect pleasure!