Column #6 - Taking it to the sheets!

Oh my, this year is just flying by! I hope all of you are enjoying your sensuality and keeping an eye on happiness. Life is too short to waste being miserable.

So, what did you dream about for your boudoir? Silk, satin, flannel or perhaps no sheets at all, just a bunch of pillows on the floor? A harem bed with sheer curtains and burning incense? It is your dream, it is all good.

I'll share with you my journal entry for my bedroom:

"The most perfect place I can imagine for exploring my sensual side is soft, smooth, dark, light, warm, cold and very, very private. My dream bedroom is a study in black and white – just like an old-time movie. Black furniture stands against white walls and a white floor.

The bed is full sized so I am never out of reach of my lover, so we touch in the night even while sleeping. The headboard will have dark wood rails for leaning against or being tied to when the need arises. There will be no footboard so there are three edges of soft bed to approach from, and lean over, and kneel next to.

Soft white cotton sheets, cold when you first crawl in but warming quickly and mounds of pillows cradle me as I sleep. A black velvet coverlet caresses my skin as I lay waiting for my lover's passionate kisses. Candles in black and white are placed in front of a large mirror to reflect the warm glow onto my lover's body. Another mirror on the wall at the foot of the bed allows me to see visually what my body is experiencing sensually.

A locked door and thick walls contain my passionate responses, isolating my lover and I from the outside world so we can concentrate on what really matters, pleasuring each other."

Hmm, yes. That will do.

Let's face it; your bed is where it all happens. OK, sometimes it happens on the kitchen table or in the shower or on the floor but MOST of the time it happens in or on your bed. You also spend a number of hours there each day recharging for the next. Because of both of these things I highly suggest you buy the highest quality bedding you can afford, allowing yourself this luxury on a daily basis. You will never regret it.

Sheets are the building blocks of your bed and it is important to think carefully about what you want. The most common fibers used for sheets are: cotton, cotton/polyester, polyester satin, silk and flannel (usually cotton or cotton/poly blend.) Here is a quick run down of each type and their pros and cons:

Cotton:
Pros – breathable, soft and softer as it is washed, available in a wide price range
Cons – can be expensive for high thread counts, wrinkle easily

Cotton/Polyester:
Pros – durable, does not wrinkle, affordable
Cons – prone to "pilling" (having little balls of thread on the surface,) not as breathable as cotton so may cause sweating

Polyester Satin:
Pros – smooth, fun
Cons – do not breath, can feel very hot, can be stiff, pillows fly across the floor and top sheets slip off the bed

Silk:
Pros – Very durable, soft, breathable
Cons – Usually must be dry cleaned, very expensive, hard to find

Flannel:
Pros – Soft, warm
Cons – Can be too warm, may shrink if not sold as "prewashed", less expensive sheets will "pill"

Hit some stores, do some shopping, feel some sheets! In my opinion, the best over-all sheet choice is cotton with a thread count of at least 200. They are soft, durable and are best for making love on because they breathe when you need them to. They are also easy to wash and dry.

No matter what type of sheets you choose, you should purchase two complete sets of sheets so you have one to put on the bed while the other is in the wash. Extra pillow cases are always nice too.

Hmm, what to put on top of those great sheets? Anything you want. Merino wool, cotton quilts, velvet duvets are all great choices. Pick something you really like. If you frequently make love on top of the covers, make sure the coverlet is washable.

So, now we've covered all of the "normal" bedding pieces, now let's have some fun!

A few of my favorite choices for livening up the bedroom:

Fake fur – you can find throws, pillows and full blankets in delicious, soft fake fur. I can't tell you how good these feel against your bare skin – definitely inspires a more "primitive" side in your lover. Try it soon – really soon.

Satin sheets – They are not a practical everyday choice, but for a special night satin sheets feel wonderful on the skin, especially when you are wearing a satin chemise. Oh how easily you will slide across those sheets, generating warm friction as you go. Beware though, satin bedding is very slippery and your pillows will most definitely end up on the floor. Who knows, maybe you will too. Yeah!

Mosquito netting – You've seen it in movies: a sheer fabric (gauze, cheesecloth, tulle) is draped over the bed to keep the inhabitants from being eaten alive by mosquitoes. If you have a canopy bed you can drape this from the top, otherwise you can put a hook in the ceiling above your bed and drape it from there. Candlelight on a nearby dresser and a warm night are all you need to imagine you are on safari in the wilds of Africa.

Silk neckties – OK, these aren't for your bed, but they can be used with your bed if you have posts or slats on it. A tiny bit of restraint can often dissolve inhibition.

Rubber sheets – Yes, I'm serious. I do not like the feeling of these next to my skin, but some people do. I prefer to put a cotton sheet over top of the rubber ones so I still get the water-proof effect. Why would you need a waterproof sheet you ask? So the massage oil doesn't sink into your mattress of course!

Which leads me to our topic for next time – sensual massage. There are a few basic techniques every sensual woman should know to please her lover. I promise I won't keep them to myself, I'll tell you all about them – next time. (I know, I am such a tease.)

For next time, I want you to read back through your journal and then make an entry describing how you have changed from that first entry. Perhaps you have a bit more confidence? Or a great new perfume? Or a dreamy set of sheets? Every once and a while each one of us needs to take inventory and see where we are. Now is that time.

Until next time my friends, expect pleasure!