Column #12: The Romantic

Do you just adore being rescued? Do you thrive on compliments? Have any of your lovers ever expressed frustration over your refusal to disclose what you want? If so, you might very well be a Romantic, as described in my book, Your Erotic Personality: Identifying and Understanding Your Sexual Sefl. (Want to get an idea of what type you might be? Watch the movie at Your Erotic Personality Movie, which will then take you to the quiz at http://www.sagevivant.com/quiz.php.

For the Romantic, the sex itself is less important than all the steps leading up to it. She is likely to be two types: Romantic and something that speaks more directly to the kind of sex she likes. But the Romantic rules her, and most of her erotic notions and turn-ons are somehow related to creating the prelude to sex that she requires.

The Romantic is characterized by three qualities:

- a need for attention
- a desire to be rescued
- an urge to thank her rescuer with sex

She craves attention, it’s true, but not (just) because she’s a little self-absorbed. For the Romantic, knowing that someone is interested is nice, but the real thrill comes from seeing just how far the interested party will go to demonstrate that interest. Grand gestures are a big favorite: anything from her superhero’s cape placed over a puddle to allow her to pass to holding a door open to walking on hot coals to reach her will function beautifully as seduction techniques.

Related to this level of attention is the Romantic’s desire to have her every desire anticipated. She’d very much like her suitors to read her mind. About everything. Where she’d like to go on a date, what she wants to order in a restaurant, where she wants to be touched – if a potential lover can guess at these desires, she begins to feel safe and protected. And that’s a powerful aphrodisiac for the Romantic.

The Romantic gets accused of keeping her desires and expectations secret, and making her pursuers guess at what she wants. She has lots of expectations but if she discloses them, how will she know the lengths to which the supposedly interested party will go to fulfill them? She wants to make them work a little. That’s the only way they can prove they’re ready to leap tall buildings and move mountains. When she can see how hard someone will try to ferret out what she wants, she’ll have a better sense of how much she’s desired.

If she has to tell a would-be lover what she wants, the thrill is gone. For the Romantic, giving someone clues is like giving a student the answers to a test. It’s cheating.

If attentiveness woos the Romantic, then rescuing is the holy grail. The peril doesn’t even have to be of the life-threatening variety. Her rescuer could save her from an abusive or inattentive current paramour, a lousy job, or financial hardship. Her savior might find her a great deal on a new car or get her tickets to a sold-out concert she’s been dying to attend. The rescuer makes the Romantic’s life easier and less fraught with hardship, worry, or danger.

Because then, you see, she gives herself permission to sleep with him (or her – erotic personalities know no gender or sexual orientation). She expresses her gratitude by having sex with her rescuer.

Seduction from a Romantic’s point of view involves one part telepathy, one part attentiveness, and one part rescue. Oh, and the sex had better be good, too, because she may not take kindly to waiting for all those requirements to be met only to discover that the sex wasn’t worth waiting for!

Take the quiz at http://www.sagevivant.com/quiz.php to see whether you are a Romantic.

Sage.
Custom Erotica Source

Ed’s Note: Sage’s revealing new book, ”Your Erotic Personality: Identifying and Understanding Your Sexual Self”, is available now! Place your order with Powell's Online Bookstore