The Erotic Podium

Rosemary Rogers first introduced me to the world of eroticism and sexual exploration. In the 9th grade, my best and I would skip lunch to hunt down risqué novels at the used bookshop across from school. Like most young girls, we went straight for the romance section but after reading Rogers’ books, we realized most romance novels didn’t satisfy anymore. In our naive youth, we searched to understand the meaning of sex and the differences between romance, eroticism and smut by finding a way to explore sexuality through the most innocent form available to us, books. We were, of course, unaware at the time that what we were really after was an unconscious need to solidify a personal image of the women we were to become.

In my pre-Rosemary youth, the only naughtiness I’d been exposed to was a small topless photo or two within the pages of Vogue, a few Fredrick’s of Hollywood catalogs, and a kissing scene in teen novels. Once hormones began to shoot through my veins, curiosity took over and that’s when I discovered Rosemary.

However, I think it was the film Nine ½ Weeks that really forked my erotic road. Once I saw the onscreen, erotically charged power play between Basinger and Rourke and that blindfold fridge scene - not to mention (though I am) the melting ice upon the edge of Elizabeth’s panties - I connected sex and eroticism in a whole new way. I was like a fish hooked by the promise of a wiggly worm. I had to have a taste, and then I became addicted.

In hindsight I can see how my interest in eroticism rose and eventually bloomed with maturity. What I have found is that eroticism only gets more flavorful with age. Youth doesn’t appreciate eroticism the way it is intended but that is not a bad thing. It is an evolutionary thing. What a young person views in his or her environment will help shape their concept of what sex and/or eroticism is. Unfortunately, the media is hurting the necessary and natural progression of sexual exploration because they’ve interpreted sexuality for the young men and women of today while leaving eroticism out of the equation.

My generation had to actively look for sex. Gil Reavill said it best in his book Smut, “Sex is like sand on a beach, one thing when it’s lying around sparkling in the sun, quite another when it’s kicked in your face.” In reality, profit hungry media corporations have kicked their version of sex into the mainstream and now everyone is quickly becoming blind with sand in their eye. Pop legend, Prince, stated in an interview for the Daily News in 2004 that “Back then [1980’s], the sexiest thing on TV was ‘Dynasty,’ and if you watch it now, it’s like ‘The Brady Bunch’. Now we’ve got Desperate Housewives having sex with minors!

Sex in the media twenty years ago was still mysterious. That kind of mystery is what dangles the carrot of hope for those who can’t wait to discover what those tingles are all about. My ‘first time’ wasn’t anything to shiver over. I couldn’t figure out what the big deal was but then, I was too young to understand the rapture of the erotic spirit. My boyfriend, a virgin also was too young to understand how to please the opposite sex. Hell, most adult men still haven’t figured out how to do that. How, then, can a young soul standing on the beach of an erotic ocean comprehend the depth, mystery, danger and excitement that awaits him or her when irresponsible media have created a crude, rude and nasty image of sexuality?

Movies like Nine ½ Weeks are rare and spectacular. They offer a taste of erotic excitement and fuel curiosity’s desire, subliminally penetrating the various avenues in which sexuality can be erotic without the need of background music from the Black Eyed Peas singing “my hump, my hump, my hump.” Huh? The younger generation has become desensitized from over exposure to sex without proper introduction into the bliss of erotic pleasure because sexual imagery today lacks respect and decency for both sexes.

Instead, close your eyes, get blindfolded and listen the sounds of the refrigerator. Feel the cold on half your naked body. Taste the textures that spur all sorts of sensations. The difference between eroticism of the past and the so-called eroticism promoted today is that the past still had a sense of decency towards sex. The media, particularly American media, has changed the meaning of sexuality by making it vulgar, confusing a generation of kids and young adults because they have killed the erotic spirit.

Exposure to movies or books similar to Nine ½ Weeks hypnotizes the erotic spirit and allows it to come out of its organic shell. Whether more is defined by further information about the characters or the sex itself, eros within you and I wants more if it because it needs to experience sensations rather than see them and this is why it is important as to the type of messages society receives from absent minded corporate fluff. When there is more left unsaid and unseen, the viewer must fill in the blanks, stirring his or her sexual excitement. That’s when eroticism has made its point and succeeded in its purpose.

I can recall how flustered I was when I asked the sales lady at that used bookstore if she had more books like Rosemary Rogers’ The Insiders or The Crowd Pleasers, books that were full of lustful displays of orgies, slave trades and male domination. Granted, not the most acceptable visions for women or feminists, but I was curious by the eroticism those concepts provoked. Fueled by erotic inquisitiveness, I influenced my personal interpretation of sex and all those other erotic things I’ve come to learn based on what I found and experienced, not by what the media drowned me with.

It really comes down to understanding the kind of individual you are and the kind of individual you want to be. Create that vision based on personal exploration rather than media’s version and you’ll find a change in the way people notice and treat you. Western society is a silicone reality, full of hyped up entertainers who become icons and role models but by selling out to those in control, post-adolescent males as Gil Reavill calls them, they’re actually doing injustice to women and men around the world. The more women give men what they demand or want, the more it is expected. This is a learned behavior as it is a response to repetitive mental processes; it’s all we’ve come to know and accept. How can we secure a better world for future generations if we’re failing to create the proper image of men and women right now?

Sexuality, eroticism, and pornography – they all have their place but so do the characters that play those roles. That place should be called the erotic podium rather than the porn emporium if a new and healthy shift is to occur in our over-sexed but erotically poor culture. Those who choose to stand on the erotic podium must discover their self-worth, beauty, intelligence and eroticism and ultimately create a newer, stronger and confident self-image. Now we can talk role models.

The erotic podium is small but there’s always room for those ready to explore new heights by changing their perceptions and reviving the erotic spirit within.

Namaste,
Tatiana von Tauber
www.vontauber.com