Safe Sex Toy Etiquette

Everybody knows how much fun you can have, and how great it can be for your sex life, when you invest in a varied and high quality “Goody Collection”. Sex aids (in whatever form) are now relatively cheap, can perform a countless number of functions, and are generally good quality (as long as you buy from a reputable supplier of course!).

Let’s face it, most women have at least one sex toy tucked away carefully in their bedside cupboard, or stashed somewhere in the hidden realms of their wardrobe. Perhaps you are like me, and need an entire dedicated drawer to stash your toys (after all, there has to be some perks to being a sex toy reviewer because goodness knows we don’t do it for the money!). I have a girlfriend who uses an old shoebox, which she calls her Treasure Chest, that is chock full of sexy products. Whatever the case, in today’s society, modern women believe there is nothing wrong with buying and using sex toys, and as such there is now a multi-million dollar online adult shopping industry thriving across the globe.

But in line with this rise of sex toy popularity has come some not-so-inevitable downsides that a little awareness could help avoid. In this article, I want to discuss some of these, and provide some useful tips to make sure your playtime stays happy!

To Lube or Not To Lube, That Is The Question!

Lubricants can be a girl’s best friend, simply because they reduce friction by providing a slippery layer between surfaces, making sure things can slide so much more easily and eliminating discomfort.

Don’t be afraid to use lubes. I’ve heard countless claims that they are too messy, too desensitising, too smelly, too boring. Well, they can be any of those things, but they don’t have to be. Lubes come in dozens of different mixtures and compositions, not to mention flavours, colours and textures. Choosing the right lube can be one giant step towards improving your overall sex life.

There are a few points to be mindful of however. Some sex toys are made of an absorptive or porous type rubber, which can soak up your natural bodily lubrications (as well as any you otherwise introduce), meaning you may need to be extra generous when applying lube. If things start to hurt a little, or the going gets a little rough, realise what might be happening and add some more.

Oil-based lubes, like Vaseline or baby oil, are an old favourite and often an easy answer but my advice is never use them in any type of sexual play! I say that for three main reasons:

1) They break down latex (obviously condoms!) and can degrade rubber (meaning it could shorten the life of your toys)
2) They can be difficult, if not impossible, to wash properly out of your system. It can take days to fully clean yourself out
3) Which then leads on to the most important point – they are a breeding ground for bacteria and infections.

Avoid using Vaseline and baby oil like the plague, if for no other reason than because proper lubricants are cheap and work much better anyway.

Always, always use lube during anal sex. I know there is a crowd who like the raw bareback, rough-house style and refuse to use any unnatural lubrication, but this is incredibly dangerous. Bottoms do not produce any natural lube, unlike your kitty, and the tissue inside and around the anus are very prone to tearing. It is the easiest way to spread disease and infection, as well as doing a serious and embarrassing injury. Lubricant eases these concerns somewhat by removing that friction, although of course casual anal play should always involve a condom.

One final point of consideration…everyone has heard of KY Jelly! They are famous initials, and because of that people link it as being the best lube going. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. KY is generally the preferred option by professionals during gynaecological exams, because it is extra slippery. But, and this is the important part, it dries very quickly! Certainly too quickly to enjoy a solid session with your toys or partner without needing to reapply repetitively.

There are a squillion different brands of lube, and I don’t particularly have a favourite. Some of the noted ones I can recommend are Wet Platinum, Astro Glide and Liquid Silk, although I’m sure most available these days are equally excellent.

Goody Hygiene

I cannot emphasise the importance of this topic enough. Proper cleaning of your sex toys will make sure they not only stay hygienic, but will also extend their life of service. And everybody wants to get the maximum value of their purchases, right?

Cleaning of your toys can be performed easily by using warm, soapy water. Make sure you do this as close to the end of your play session as possible. Just use a cloth and give the toy a thorough wash, and then dry afterwards before you put it away. Make sure you do not submerge your toy in water for any extended length of time (especially if they have any mechanical parts!). Proper cleaning like this after use will keep your Goody’s in a hygienic and attractive condition.

Always remember there is a difference between cleaning and sanitising. The only toys that can be sanitised are those made out of silicon, which can be dunked in boiling water for up to four minutes. Never, ever use this procedure with any other sex toy…silicon based, non-mechanical ones only.

I have known people who have washed their sex toys in the dishwasher, or taken them into a steaming hot bath for hours at a time. Don’t do either of these things, for what I hope are obvious reasons. Extra hot water will cause big problems for even waterproof toys, and any jelly, rubber or plastic based product could simply melt…try explaining that one as you are busily trying to clean out the remnants!

And remember, if you are sharing your toys amongst a group or even with casual partners, using a condom on it might seem like a bit of a buzzkill, but it is the best way to prevent any transferable nasties.

Be Extra Careful If Using The Same Toy Front And Back Of House!

There’s nothing wrong with using your favourite vibe or dildo vaginally as well as anally. However, don’t do both in one session without using and changing a condom, or cleaning it first! Want a sure-fire method to develop urinary tract or yeast infections? Then ignore this warning. Trust me, I know from experience (and you don’t think that’s embarrassing to admit!). If you are worried about killing the moment by running and cleaning the toy first, try using and changing a condom over your toy before switching entrances, or keep separate toys for separate uses.

Safe Storage Prevents Disaster

Storing your Goody’s safely and relatively securely will make sure that you you’re products remain clean and ready to use, as well as warding off potentially embarrassing moments.

When you finish cleaning your toys, store them in a plastic container or plastic bag, or some other type of comprehensive covering. There is nothing more frustrating than getting ready to enter the pleasure zone, reaching for your toys and seeing them covered in dust, dirt or; Heaven forbid, bugs, meaning an annoying trip to clean them. Silicon and jelly toys especially are notorious for being magnets to dust. Keep them covered…you won’t regret it!

And thank you to Lucy, from Minnesota, who sent me in an email a few months ago, telling me about the following embarrassing moment (which provides the perfect example of why you need to keep your Goody’s safely and securely stored).

Imagine your seven year old daughter has invited her friend over to play after school. You are outside, going about your business. Eventually you re-enter the house to find your daughter and her best friend using your Rabbit vibrator as a nose tickler, laughing themselves silly at this wondrous plaything! Lucy learned a valuable lesson, as did I, and so should you. Don’t take this lightly, or like Lucy, you’ll have some ‘splainin to do!

--

Looking for the best Adult shopping available anywhere online? Visit TEW's recommended shopping partners for the best prices, range and customer service:

US shoppers visit AdamEve.com

Australian shoppes visit Femplay

Canadian shoppers visit Sensual Canada

UK shoppers visit SexToys.UK