Memoirs Of Romanticism

I recently found a website online that sells love letters. Curious, I poked through to get a sense of what they could be offering for $14.95 and wondered who would buy a form love letter to their sweetheart rather than attempting to express their love more personally. I sat back in my chair, sipped my Earl Grey tea and realized that society has lost romanticism.

Listening to Frank Sinatra’s “Stranger’s in the Night” I looked over my husband and remembered the first time we made love. Though we weren’t strangers in the night, we were novice lovers on a down comforter in the mid afternoon. Most of our “encounters” up until that time were played out by Internet flirtation and emails. He lived in Germany and I lived in America. Emailed confessions of feelings were easy. Hidden behind the cyber wall of my laptop, I exposed deeper feelings and elements of my soul with less inhibition than I would have in person. So did he. It worked well for two shy people who were on a road of erotic discovery in a mist of new love.

I was a writer and he was a photographer. As a result, he and I were participants of inventive romanticism and an Internet love story come true. The Atlantic Ocean separated our lustful desires but lovers always find a way to embrace the eroticism passion evokes. Distance was our catalyst.

We spent hours making love through cyberspace – and yes, without the visual stimulus of a webcam! Our lovemaking was romantically erotic and it is all held in memory not only by what embedded within our minds but also what was frozen within the written word of our love letters to each other.

I read over those letters recently, now printed and stored in an extra large three ring binder, though like the scrapbooks I keep planning to create, I’d like to find a more appropriate way to store the memories of our courtship. I could call myself lucky in that I came across a man who was elegant in his attempts to woo me through love letters, which almost four years later still make me feel like a teenager with her first crush. But it wasn’t the romanticism of his words that touched my heart. It was his willingness to expose his feelings to me in writing that warmed my soul. A genuine and romantic lover only needs the courage to expose his spirit as an expression of love for the woman he is with.

The fleeting moment of the word face to face flies as quickly as the moment itself. Memory allows the recollection of bits and pieces of conversations that were exchanged between the glowing eyes of two lovers but when an attempt is made to recollect all that was said, we find that it is gone like the wind that caressed the body on the sandy beach where you kissed. It’s a lovely memory but you forget the little details that would be so nice to relive again. The mind only has itself to hold on to a moment and feeling that has long since passed but the written love letter makes love to the reader, over and over again.

Over time, romance has gained a bad reputation among the masses but I fault those too lazy to participate in its clichéd pleasures. Society holds on to the blooms of roses for Valentines Day yet few offer long stems in a box the rest of the year. Just one flower is enough to capture the heart of a woman on any given day. In fact, I would guess most women would prefer one flower for no particular occasion then two-dozen on Valentine’s Day. And while the holiday promises romance, it also prescribes obligation. Love and romance should not play on the same scale of duty. Family get-togethers should hold that one!

Furthermore, romance should not be held prisoner to the stereotyped visions it has become synonymous with: flowers, candy and the fall of masculinity. Romance is the act of praise for a partner and an act of respect to heighten another’s self-esteem and appreciation. It takes a creative lover to offer gentle whispers into the heart of another and from experience, romance usually does equate to a more passionate soul and life.

Lastly, romance is a respectable courtesy that does not need to stay bottled up between lovers alone. I recently witnessed my stepson try on his father’s romantic shoes, who does not fear the “feminine” side of masculinity. My stepson darted away from us one afternoon as we entered a department store. I instinctively ran to grab the door he opened before it hit a customer in the face, whose hands were full of packages. My husband and I had falsely assumed that he opened the door to run inside the store but instead we were unexpectedly elated that he opened the door for this woman and held it open for her. The three of us – mother, father and stranger – stood frozen in shock by the act of a six-year-old gentleman in the making. My husband glowed with pride.

I believe that it is the loss of the “ladies and gentlemen” in our new century that has helped to create the loss of respect between the sexes. Romance is the band-aid between lovers when riffs strike at their passionate sides. An unexpected kiss on the cheek, an opening of the car door, a little note in a wallet, coffee prepared in the morning, a foot massage after a long day, a quick email saying, “I’m thinking of you”, an unexpected compliment or even the placement of toothpaste on another’s toothbrush before they wake up in the morning constitutes a multitude of ways romance helps to deepen the feeling of appreciation to those you love. And, they don’t cost a penny. Little actions of conscious love speak louder than the words “I love you” ever could.

While the courtship between my husband and I did not allow for interpersonal acts of romanticism because of our overseas relationship, we found other ways to embrace the erotic spirit. Our romance came from the depth of our souls, written into words as an expression of how we felt, whom we were or could be to each other. Packages of European chocolate did arrive, as did home-made videos exposing the events of our daily lives but it was the magical mystery of wonder- what his touch would feel like and how his breath would caress my neck - that fueled the romantic exchange of personal love letters between him and I.

By the time we engaged in our first physical act of romanticism, we were no longer strangers in the night but lovers who had the opportunity to peek into the soul of the other – in writing. Our physical union was just the seal of approval. Romance is charming and charm is spellbinding.

Cast your spell on the one you love today. Write a love letter and discover the romanticism that is hidden within you.

Namaste,
Tatiana von Tauber
www.vontauber.com