Hot off the sex press!

The scene: Intrepid interviewer approaches Catholic priest during NOM’s summer bus tour; Catholic priest spends seven minutes in increasingly convoluted justification for the church’s opposition to marriage equality.

Watch along, or just read this particularly fun sound-bite:

“If you want to get to the nuts and bolts of it in the male homosexual world, I think the most heinous act is anal sex. Now, if anybody were to think about that in truth, they would say one person is being harmed by this act, which is why there are so many gastrointenstinal afflictions that come to many homosexuals that do this, and other kinds of afflictions. When you look at that individual act, you say, ‘Did God create that? No way.’ And would you ever want one of your children or grandchildren to be submitted to that kind of act? No.” (transcript via Joe. My. God.)

Make sure to watch at 6:05, when he talks about how the interviewer’s friend looks gay. Brilliant.

For the record: This mostly-straight mother has no opinion on whether or not she would want her children or grandchildren to try anal sex.

However, if they should decide to partake I feel almost entirely certain that God won’t care one bit about it.

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This post, “God Did Not Create Anal Sex”, originally appeared on aag on Friday, July 30, 2010. Tweet This Post!

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I receive an email from a young woman who reads my blog. “How do you move on when a relationship ends if you still love that person?” she asked.

If that isn’t one of the hardest things to do, I don’t know what is. The end can bring us to our knees.

I remember sitting in bed after Nick and I broke up waiting for him to call even though I told him not to call me. And wanting desperately to call him even though I know I shouldn’t. And when the phone did ring, I felt the gentle wings of butterflies take flight in my stomach. I didn’t answer. But the fact that he called comforted me in ways that I don't quite understand and can't explain.

I’ve been in enough failed relationships to know that I would mourn him. I mourned men that I loved and men I didn't love. A breakup can hit as hard as if it were the death of a loved one. It's only the end of a chapter, but we experience it as the end of a story, our dreams and tomorrows.

Leaving Nick did not mean I didn’t love him. It did not mean that I was no longer attracted to him. The intimacy between us was as real as our issues. Sex did not and could not override our issues, and neither could our issues override our desire.

How do you move on?

I can only speak for what has worked for me.

The first thing I do is make a clean break and distance myself. I don’t try to be friends. Humans have a natural inclination to resist change. There's comfort in the familiar even if that familiar is unhealthy.

Nick called me every night when he was away. He continued even after we ended. I stopped taking his calls.

I take extra care of myself. I may run an extra mile. I shop. I hit the spa. I use my time productively. It's important to feel good about myself.

I didn’t dare allow myself alone in a room with him for fear that the mere sight of him would make me throb and shiver and ache with longing. Sex is powerful. It’s the key that will open Pandora’s box.

My failed relationships have taught me that a broken heart will grab hold of anything to escape the pain. And the mind will start to doubt. It’s hard to think clearly when you’re hurting. That’s why the butterflies soared in my stomach when nick called. It was familiar and my unstable emotions found comfort in it. That’s also why the first break seldom last, and the second, and the third….

I know that my mind will deceive me. And I cannot trust myself. The reasons for leaving will ebb and flow like changing tide. And if I allow it, I will forget, until the next time.

But time does heal.

I remind myself of that when I'm nursing a heartbreak. I think back to all the men I thought I would love forever....
I'm still thinking. It's hard to remember them. And the love I thought would never die is long dead.

I know that what I’m thinking and feeling is temporary.

Time heals.